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A man for all seasons

One of the realities forgotten in discussions of manhood is the life cycle. This Hindu image, illustrating the passage from birth to death (and for Hindus, to reincarnation), provides a quick reminder that masculinity is organic, that it takes on different aspects depending on a male's age. What is right for one era in life is often not a good fit for another. We need different things from a father and from a grandfather, from a young man facing the challenge of becoming adult and from a mature man starting to see the approach of sundown.


The tasks, virtues and pitfalls for males shift and evolve through life. There is not just one static state. That is one of the reasons why I like the image of the constellation to illustrate what manhood is: at differing moments in our growth and development, we need to be guided by different stars within it. It is all a man's life and work, but not every stage is the same. Moving ahead too fast can be as problematic as staying stuck in one place too long.

There are often differences in growth patterns for men who love men. In shorthand, the path can be less linear and more circular than for most males. And for any man who has gotten stuck in or even missed out on part of the cycle, therapy can help to identify tasks that address those issues. You can't really be someone other than who you are, but you can be a better version of who you are. A better man.

The Male Soul lives through several "incarnations" within a single lifetime: infant, child, boy, adolescent, young man, adult, mature man, older man, old man. From learning to face life to learning to face death.

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