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Dynamic Duos


One of Graham Jackson's typical pairings of men is the Yellow and the Green men, the men who live with their heads in the clouds and the men who live with their feet on the ground, men of sky and men of earth. Jackson gets most of his examples from art and literature. I see them showing up in less elevated realms.

Despite the gay-victim theme in them, I like the Donald Strachey Mysteries largely because Chad Allen plays the title role so well. He and his partner Tim are a good Yellow and Green comrades-in-arms partnership. Tim is the Yellow Man, the idealist, the civilized man of thought and visions, concerned with the Great Issues. He's a senatorial assistant. Don is definitely a Guy, the Green Man, the earthling, practical, dealing in concretes and things-as-they-are. A private eye. Great complementarity.




In male-female couples, each partner knows that because of their gender oppositions they are bound to be very different, often in quite predictable ways. A man can sometimes frame a conflict with his wife or girlfriend as "She's just being a woman."  This does not make it easy, but it can make it less personal. When two men are in a dyad, they often assume that their gender sameness will make for high levels of harmony. And it can in some ways. But they can be unaware of the oppositions in character styles that most male/male couples are built on. So when the partner disappoints or surprises or acts outside of what's expected, it can feel like a betrayal or an attack. One of the benefits that typology can bring is the ability to say, "He's being an introvert" or "He's doing his Yellow Man thing." 

Don and Tim work because they don't try to change each other very much and each man is able to appreciate the other's differences. In the film On The Other Hand, Death, they talk over a visit from Tim's first boyfriend, a handsome and accomplished guy with whom Tim has much in common and with whom he can talk politics (his passion) for hours. Tim wonders why Don is not showing any jealousy. Don replies that Tim and the ex are very much alike, made for friendship but not for partnership.
"That's probably why you two didn't last. Who wants to come home every night to a mirror image of himself? I certainly don't."
Along with great affection, there's the respect of one man for another. In a successful relationship, both of those are fundamental.

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PsychToon 1

Excellent question

A Jungian analyst down in LA opens his professional site with this: Why do we choose partners who fail to meet some of the important needs in our life, even though there was something about them that caused us to deeply love them initially? Falling in love is an overpowering experience. To me, it is one of the most easily accessible signs of the reality of the unconscious, showing that we are often in the grip of forces we neither understand nor control. When, with time, that ecstatic and tumultuous state subsides, it becomes clearer who the beloved idol really is. And every one eventually reveals feet of clay. What sometimes happens then is that instead of the idealizing obsession we had in the beginning, we switch gears and what strikes us most are flaws. It's almost all we can see. Qualities that once drew us in now put us off. This change of view can feel deeply disappointing. Or even like betrayal. But it's usually the case that our own projections and deep needs